Dan Warden

Dan Warden is a media assistant at a publishing company and fishing enthusiast meaning he always has some kind of stick in his hand.

1. You make it round to my house. I have every hot beverage in the known world on offer. What do you choose? 

I'll have to be 'that guy' and say 'coffee - I live on that stuff.' I drink copious amounts of tea when I'm fishing, but day to day, I'm afraid to say, I rely on an unhealthy amount of bean-juice!

2. I’ve been made the Emperor of the world. The first thing I do is ban cricket. How do you feel about this?

Honestly, I'm not a big fan of the sport, although it tickled me to hear one of my friends repeat an absolutely cracking piece of Aussie cricket commentary: "That one's got an air hostess on it!"

3. You’re offered the perfect job but there’s a big catch – for instance, I’d like to star in a Hollywood film but I’d have to do plenty of underwater shots. What’s the job and what’s the catch?

The job would have to be working for an Angling publication and, while I'm not fussy on the discipline, carp fishing is my passion, so something like Total Carp or Carp Monthly would be bang on! I'd say the catch (wonderful pun, thanks to the question!) would be either moving from Cornwall or being so busy writing about it that I'd have no time to actually fish.

4. The person you hate the most is living in an area that’s about to be affected by nuclear fallout. Do you phone to warn them?

I don't think I know anyone that I hate that much to knowingly leave them to die. Saying that, people who stop at seemingly random intervals on a busy pavement are asking to be left behind..

5. With great power comes great responsibility. Unfortunately you’ve been born with mediocre superpowers. Who are you?

Manatee (my nickname) - the wallowing old sea cow who'll probably wind up scalped by a power boat.

6. It’s celebrity party time. On the guest list are Jedward, the Cheeky Girls and the Chuckle brothers. Who do you invite to be your pseudo-sibling?

Father Time (Apparently I've the speed, attitude and all-round bearing of an old man).

7. An invitation comes through from NASA; you’ve got the chance to be the first person on Mars. Would you take a year away from everyone and everything to oblige?

I think I probably would, yeah, but I don't know what I'd bring to the team on such a huge expedition.

8. There’s no appealing, you have to do a reality TV show. Which one would you do?

Good lord, no appealing? Perhaps The Island, but still, what I'd bring to the team remains a mystery.

9. You’re given the chance of a perfect Sunday. Bearing in mind cricket is banned, what do you do?

Carping in the sun with my partner, and I'd be happy with soup and a massive tiger baguette for dinner.

10. In my house it’s Christmas every week. You’re given a book, a film and an album. What are they?

The book would be Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood (and the following two, if that's possible). The film - the first Spongebob Squarepants movie. For the album, a photo album of all my captures along with seasonal pictures of the different lakes that I fish in Cornwall. Is that allowed?

A little self indulgent but we'll allow it - Ed.

Kent Tayler

Kent Tayler is a cartoonist and family man who has had work published in Viz, Private Eye and Prospect magazines. His most notable work to date, however, are the illustrations in the epic high seas adventure, "Natalie's Fiendish New Headteacher" which is available to buy at Amazon and Waterstones.

1. You make it round to my house. I have every hot beverage in the known world on offer. What do you choose? 

Tea, white, no sugar. And a massive pack of chocolate Hobnobs.

2. I’ve been made the Emperor of the world. The first thing I do is ban cricket. How do you feel about this?

Personally, I couldn’t care less. But I do have friends who adore cricket, so I’d feel bad for them.

3. You’re offered the perfect job but there’s a big catch – for instance, I’d like to star in a Hollywood film but I’d have to do plenty of underwater shots. What’s the job and what’s the catch?

To get paid to draw forever, but my drawing hand would need daily injections to work properly. I’m terrified of injections.

4. The person you hate the most is living in an area that’s about to be affected by nuclear fallout. Do you phone to warn them?

Just one person? I have a list. And can I set up webcams to see their reactions when I phone them?

The answer to this, just for you, is yes.

Definitely yes. And I still have a list.

5. With great power comes great responsibility. Unfortunately you’ve been born with mediocre superpowers. Who are you?

Dance Man! With the power to move and groove like Bobby Farrell from Boney M. And there’s no mediocre side to that I can actually think of.

6. It’s celebrity party time. On the guest list are Jedward, the Cheeky Girls and the Chuckle brothers. Who do you invite to be your pseudo-sibling?

I’ve been told I look like Louis Theroux, Egon Spengler from Ghostbusters and silent film star Harold Lloyd. I’d bring one of them and if the party was bloody awful, I could do a runner and they’d take my place with no-one the wiser.

7. An invitation comes through from NASA; you’ve got the chance to be the first person on Mars. Would you take a year away from everyone and everything to oblige?

What, and miss making the traditional Saturday night enchiladas and cheesy nachos with my daughter? Absolutely not!

8. There’s no appealing, you have to do a reality TV show. Which one would you do?

I’m A Celeb, no question. We love that programme in our house. It’s the only reality t.v show we watch - the rest can jump in a lake (especially that Kardashian one).  

9. You’re given the chance of a perfect Sunday. Bearing in mind cricket is banned, what do you do?

A long family walk in the woods with the dog. Back for lots of tea, hot buttered toast and biscuits. A fat Sunday roast. A kip. Then a massive film binge whilst sprawled out on the sofa with the good lady and a ton of munchies. Then, before sleep, I’d actually finish reading one of the many books I’ve accumulated on the bedside table.

10. In my house it’s Christmas every week. You’re given a book, a film and an album. What are they?

Blimey! Okay. I’d say The Dark Knight Returns (comic books count, right?), Aussie eco-horror “Long Weekend” (the 1978 original, not the remake) and “Dare” by The Human League.