Kent Tayler

Kent Tayler is a cartoonist and family man who has had work published in Viz, Private Eye and Prospect magazines. His most notable work to date, however, are the illustrations in the epic high seas adventure, "Natalie's Fiendish New Headteacher" which is available to buy at Amazon and Waterstones.

1. You make it round to my house. I have every hot beverage in the known world on offer. What do you choose? 

Tea, white, no sugar. And a massive pack of chocolate Hobnobs.

2. I’ve been made the Emperor of the world. The first thing I do is ban cricket. How do you feel about this?

Personally, I couldn’t care less. But I do have friends who adore cricket, so I’d feel bad for them.

3. You’re offered the perfect job but there’s a big catch – for instance, I’d like to star in a Hollywood film but I’d have to do plenty of underwater shots. What’s the job and what’s the catch?

To get paid to draw forever, but my drawing hand would need daily injections to work properly. I’m terrified of injections.

4. The person you hate the most is living in an area that’s about to be affected by nuclear fallout. Do you phone to warn them?

Just one person? I have a list. And can I set up webcams to see their reactions when I phone them?

The answer to this, just for you, is yes.

Definitely yes. And I still have a list.

5. With great power comes great responsibility. Unfortunately you’ve been born with mediocre superpowers. Who are you?

Dance Man! With the power to move and groove like Bobby Farrell from Boney M. And there’s no mediocre side to that I can actually think of.

6. It’s celebrity party time. On the guest list are Jedward, the Cheeky Girls and the Chuckle brothers. Who do you invite to be your pseudo-sibling?

I’ve been told I look like Louis Theroux, Egon Spengler from Ghostbusters and silent film star Harold Lloyd. I’d bring one of them and if the party was bloody awful, I could do a runner and they’d take my place with no-one the wiser.

7. An invitation comes through from NASA; you’ve got the chance to be the first person on Mars. Would you take a year away from everyone and everything to oblige?

What, and miss making the traditional Saturday night enchiladas and cheesy nachos with my daughter? Absolutely not!

8. There’s no appealing, you have to do a reality TV show. Which one would you do?

I’m A Celeb, no question. We love that programme in our house. It’s the only reality t.v show we watch - the rest can jump in a lake (especially that Kardashian one).  

9. You’re given the chance of a perfect Sunday. Bearing in mind cricket is banned, what do you do?

A long family walk in the woods with the dog. Back for lots of tea, hot buttered toast and biscuits. A fat Sunday roast. A kip. Then a massive film binge whilst sprawled out on the sofa with the good lady and a ton of munchies. Then, before sleep, I’d actually finish reading one of the many books I’ve accumulated on the bedside table.

10. In my house it’s Christmas every week. You’re given a book, a film and an album. What are they?

Blimey! Okay. I’d say The Dark Knight Returns (comic books count, right?), Aussie eco-horror “Long Weekend” (the 1978 original, not the remake) and “Dare” by The Human League.