Find her on Twitter - @ProofreadJulia
1. You make it round to my house. I have every hot beverage in the known world on offer. What do you choose?
Tea, as I am an Englishwoman and therefore contractually obliged to maintain the traditions of my country!
2. I’ve been made the Emperor of the world. The first thing I do is ban cricket. How do you feel about this?
My 87-year-old dad is a member of the MCC, and attending Test Matches at Lords is the highlight of his year. So you’re not taking that away from my dad, you heartless fascist, I’ll have to stage a coup d’état!
3. You’re offered the perfect job but there’s a big catch – for instance, I’d like to star in a Hollywood film but I’d have to do plenty of underwater shots. What’s the job and what’s the catch?
I tried to find a funny answer for this, but I couldn’t. Then I thought – I can just tell you the truth! To my mind, I have the perfect job. I work from home, proofreading and copy editing, and this is perfect for me. I always wanted to be able to read most of the time. The only catch is that I’m always very busy and have to make time to read for pleasure, and that’s the truth.
4. The person you hate the most is living in an area that’s about to be affected by nuclear fallout. Do you phone to warn them?
No, I don’t – end of, no moral quandaries here!
5. With great power comes great responsibility. Unfortunately you’ve been born with mediocre superpowers. Who are you?
I am the supreme organiser of all travel arrangements, to the point of making lists to tick off ‘to do’ and packing items. Some people laugh at me and try to imply that I can’t understand what it’s like to be a free spirit – mind you, I’m not the person who left their travel tickets on the sideboard!
6. It’s celebrity party time. On the guest list are Jedward, the Cheeky Girls and the Chuckle brothers. Who do you invite to be your pseudo-sibling?
Stephen Fry, because I think we were separated at birth. No, I’m not a fat gay bloke in his late 50s, but I heard him say in an interview that he spent his teens holed up reading PG Wodehouse, as did I. Doesn’t get you any friends, but it gets you one hell of a head start on the English language. Either that, or I’d bring Tom Hiddleston under the pretence that he’s my fraternal twin, then I’d get him drunk and take him back to my place.
7. An invitation comes through from NASA; you’ve got the chance to be the first person on Mars. Would you take a year away from everyone and everything to oblige?
No thank you, it sounds too much like hard work, and I don’t like the outfits.
8. There’s no appealing, you have to do a reality TV show. Which one would you do?
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – partly because I really do like the outfits, but also because I’d like to experience the life for a week or so, and then, sick of excess, tick them off straight about being such self-centred two-faced harridans who don’t realise how much good they could do with their money instead of moaning about their neighbours!
9. You’re given the chance of a perfect Sunday. Bearing in mind cricket is banned, what do you do?
Well, I’m going to need my team of stylists to come round for a couple of hours before Tom Hiddleston arrives to take me out for lunch, naturally. Then lunch, somewhere warm where we can sit outside on the terrace. The story of the rest of the day is not suitable for mixed company!
10. In my house it’s Christmas every week. You’re given a book, a film and an album. What are they?
Book – the complete short stories of Somerset Maugham, which I’ve been reading on and off since my teens. Try it, you’ll love it, all human life is there. Film – after much thought, Mr Skeffington starring Bette Davis, a classic tale of redemption that gets to me every time. And album – Aerosmith’s greatest hits, they’re my favourite band in the world, and here’s a pic of me with them!
