Sean Campbell

Sean Campbell is one half of the writing team responsible for the DCI Morton series of novels, the other being his brother Dan. The books are available at http://dcimorton.com.

Find him on Twitter - @DCIMorton

1. You make it round to my house. I have every hot beverage in the known world on offer. What do you choose?

I’m on a peppermint tea kick at the moment. I hadn’t tried it before Christmas, and got given some of Lidl’s ‘Deluxe’ peppermint tea. It’s sweet enough to make me forget I’m cutting down on the desserts.
Other than that it’s usually coffee. Strong, black, and with the occasional shot of whisky.

2. I’ve been made the Emperor of the world. The first thing I do is ban cricket. How do you feel about this?

How very dare you! My parent’s local pub, the Bat and Ball, is right opposite the Cradle of Cricket on Broadhalfpenny Down, and my old man would be most upset. On the plus side we’d forever hold the Ashes.

3. You’re offered the perfect job but there’s a big catch – for instance, I’d like to star in a Hollywood film but I’d have to do plenty of underwater shots. What’s the job and what’s the catch?

I’m self-employed, and have been for pretty much all my adult life, so for me the catch would be losing that independence no matter which job I was offered.

Underwater photography of big fish would be amazing. Knowing my luck, I’d end up getting eaten by a Great White.

4. The person you hate the most is living in an area that’s about to be affected by nuclear fallout. Do you phone to warn them?

Why would I have someone’s number if I hate them? I’m afraid I’d have long since deleted it. Tough luck.

5. With great power comes great responsibility. Unfortunately you’ve been born with mediocre superpowers. Who are you?

I’m Guinness-drinking-man. I can finish a pint in under five seconds… as long as you’re buying. And yes, I actually can do this.

6. It’s celebrity party time. On the guest list are Jedward, the Cheeky Girls and the Chuckle brothers. Who do you invite to be your pseudo-sibling?

Can I bring Taylor Swift? She loves crime drama (her cat is named after Olivia Benson from Law and Order SVU). On second thoughts I’d be the second best looking Sean she’s met. That Sean O’Pry guy from the Blank Space music video clearly has me beat.

7. An invitation comes through from NASA; you’ve got the chance to be the first person on Mars. Would you take a year away from everyone and everything to oblige?

A year? Jesus, rocket technology has come along quick. I’d have thought we’d take a little longer than that to get to Mars and back.
I’d have to stay here, as boring as that is. I have responsibilities that I couldn’t skip for a week, let alone a year.

8. There’s no appealing, you have to do a reality TV show. Which one would you do?

I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. I’m not making any promises about actually doing the challenges, but I’d love the week in the Versace after inevitably being the first one evicted.

9. You’re given the chance of a perfect Sunday. Bearing in mind cricket is banned, what do you do?

I’d have a long lie-in, breakfast in bed, and then go find something exciting to do. I like to do something new as often as I can. I wouldn’t say no to a cheeky pint, or a dram of Scotch and a fancy meal either.

10. In my house it’s Christmas every week. You’re given a book, a film and an album. What are they?

Book – A is for Arsenic: The Poisons of Agatha Christie. Things have moved on a bit since Agatha’s day, but she was brilliant at using topical murder methods (especially strychnine which she uses three times). That attention to detail is one of the things I love about her.
Film – Groundhog Day. I never know if this is really the story of a man who learns and betters himself until he escapes the repetition. I hope it is. But a dark part of me thinks that Phil Connors just might be a sociopath who realises that the way to escape is to complete the perfect day, whether or not his intentions behind that perfect day are honest and true or not. Anything with that sort of wheels-within-wheels logic fascinates me.
Album – Lukas Graham.